Lost passion?

What to do when you lose your passion? Like when love walks out the door. When hope jumps ship. Or your dreams, that floated above carrying you like balloons, your feet barely touching the ground, fizzled flying aimlessly landing deflated in a corner smelling of wet rubber. Your passion is gone. What can you do?

You can try & remember where you last had it? Did you leave it in the bedroom? But maybe we’re not looking for that kind of passion, not the infatuation, the ardor, the fervor but the passion of wonder at each moment of life.

The passion that kick starts my morning. The passion that gets me to workout. The passion that excites my day, my work, my friendships, that fuels interest & puts me into the compassionate quest for awareness, for enthusiasm, & for pure joy.

Without delving into the ‘stinking’ thinkin’ or the ‘pity-pots’ or the introspection of ‘poor me’ lets find some magic potions, some panaceas for the lost passion blahs.

Start with a mirror, cause how can you get very far if you don’t know who you are? Take a good long look & see if you are who you think you are.

Put your attention out there, on your image, on something besides your mind-set, because lost passion means your mind is fixed on something. The passion won’t return while focusing on it, you need to focus on someone or something else.

Take your attention from inside, to outside. Be a friend, listen, observe, get interested in someone else & begin to care. Focus on another person & imagine-

“This person is just like me, seeking happiness in their life. “Just like me they are trying to avoid suffering. “This person has known sadness, loneliness and discouragement. “Just like me they want passion in their life. “This person is just like me worthy of appreciation, interest, changes, and passion.

There is a tendency when we are feeling lack, as in lack of money, love, enthusiasm, passion to hide.

“I don’t want anyone to know I indulge in negativity. I’ll just curl up in bed with all my self defeating smelly friends.”

To regain the passion it’s time to fight the inertia, to beat gravity, change your attitude, & sit up straight because you cannot be negative while sitting up straight.

Change your posture & your attitude changes, because your attitude is your orientation to the horizon. Then begin singing, ?I got a new attitude?

You will find you are unique, awesome, & incredible just like everyone else.

What Matters Most

One of the values of paying attention is bringing more value to your life. 

Paying attention to what matters most, not just your work or career; you can discover that your personal & professional lives are aligned. 

Does what you do & who you are keep you excited & energized? Then your values are your career, & you’ve realized “Work is love made visible.” It’s time to write your book.

You are the answer, a master alchemist, & the populace wishes to know, how did you do it? 

BUT, what if your career & your values are not aligned?
 

Step back, & ask, "What matters most?" 

Does what you are doing right now matter the most to you? 

Perhaps you have accepted pre-scripted conditions of your family or your business & through repetition, have mistaken them for your own. Have you assumed someone else’s dream & made them your belief?Has that belief becomes a loop that ends as a noose constricting your purpose & joy?  
    
 Not knowing your beliefs & what matters most, leads to feelings that your life is adrift without a sense of purpose.

You have a nagging feeling that you are meant to do something more with your life, & that feeling leads to the D’s of discouragement, despair & depression, America’s most common DIS-ease.

So pay attention, there is more than hope, there are ways. 
       
Begin focusing on what matters most to you, ask "What is MY life's purpose?" 

What is A life's purpose? 

Your life's purpose is your inspiration. It's the motivation behind your actions. It's the force that not only leads you to realize your dreams, & provides the context for making dreams come true. 

If you've never considered this question, it can seem intimidating, but with the courage to bring more value to your life this path leads to & adds to your happiness. 

 Begin by exploring the areas that matters most to you. Where do you want to be spending the most time? It could be career, family, spirit, skills or health. Separate & discern the areas, & start a continuum with what you value most to what you value least.

Group your current activities under each heading.
      
My career list includes meetings, presentations, phone calls, research, readings, record keeping, original thought, direct experience, social media. Under health I list aerobics, NIA, weight lifting, walking, morning & evening health drinks, check-ups, vitamins. 

Stay current updating each area as they occur in a given week. 

 Compare your lists. How, what, when, and where can you bring your activities closer to the areas you value most in your life? It’s a wonderful journey. Keep at it & your purpose will appear. 
             
             
Your level of success in anything is directly related to your level of commitment.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power & magic.”

MAY, The Second Month That Is A Verb

MAY, the second month that is a verb, March beats to a different drummer, but May is full of choices.  

MAY, the month of permission or as I like to remind myself Pure Mission.

May, the month I find the quickest in passing. Celebrated for May Day with rings around the May Poles, Mothers Day, Memorials and Marilyn’s birthday. 

As a child I remember playing ‘Mother may I?’-a game about  asking permission & paying attention. 

‘Yes, you May,’ was what we wanted to hear. A Mother was in charge. It was the role of power. 

Ever wonder that what May stop us from being, doing or having what we want is waiting for Mother’s permission?

“Mother May I?” “Yes, you May.”

May a month with 30 days of freedom & permission to ask for what you want. 

You May, permission granted
You MAY choose. 
You MAY decide.
You May choose to remember  that each day this month is a May Day with permission to choose, to decide, to change, to remember to be, do or have what you want.

You May. I May. We May. 

With Little or No Doubt I Said Yes

Willingness,working toward having, grooming, acknowledging, enjoying, & appreciating willingness.  
    
Willingness is a pathway to enthusiasm, excitement. It makes life a party, as in to participate. To play is a willful act. 

Will is a powerful name, William, Will I Am, may say it all. All I am is my will.
    
I use my Will to choose, it’s the vehicle from which I decide. 

Willingness moves from a verb, a doing, to a noun, a way of being. 

It was an epiphany when I realized that Willingness is the opposite of resistance. 

Does Willingness build Will? Does choosing to ‘show up’ build Will?

To show up in life is a major act of Willingness.

It requires putting away being right, ones fears, & not being attached or identified with outcome.

Will is risking, choosing to have fun, to be creator of your own world, to be responsible, accountable, even Setting A Good Example by the grace with which Will manifests.
    
Where did I get all my Willingness?
    
My favorite teachers were always Willing to go along with my enthusiasm, & bring excitement to the learning game. 

My coaches loved my Willingness to try ‘it’ another way. 

My spiritual teachers were all major players in resisting not evil. They said to fully experience & be here & now putting Willingness forward.

You didn’t have to believe what they said, just be Willing to listen.

Where would we be without Will? Perhaps humanity would be downgraded into indoctrinated servants of the most willful one, relegated like the ants in the wizardly tales of Merlin.  

Does Will ever join forces with evil? Does it ever join with vengeance or revenge to “get them, get even?”

Does Will ever become habitual & lose its purity or intensity?

 Is the human spirit best judged by our Willingness to be the other virtues, Compassion, Grace, Patience, Trust, Honesty, and Forgiveness?   
             
      Willingness is not who I am, it is how I chose to be. 

All’s Well

39 - alls well

Seems common sense, but I am noticing the need to give to myself.  I withhold  giving to me when I feel all is NOT well. This is crazy. This is  when I most need to feed me. It’s related to not asking for help. Not calling a buddi, a mentor or coach when ‘stinking-thinkin’ takes hold.  My not ‘All’s well’ turns into a type of self punishment that feeds the must’s, shoulds, ought’s &  have too’s of ‘stinking thinking’.  A very negative feedback loop.It seems to be epidemic, I find that if I haven’t heard from a buddi for a while they can be caught in their own version with a similar  noose.

It is possible to spend a lot of time making excuses, believing the really big lies for not receiving:

I don’t deserve. I am not good enough. I don’t belong.

All common forms of self-abasement from childhood imprints that years in therapy, seminars, a library of self help book, prayer, & meditation may not give relief or the common sense to ask for help, or reverse the process by giving to others.

We give to others for love, for their attention, to pay the rent. What & how can we give to ourselves? How can we replenish our coffers? It’s a balance, time  spent giving necessitates time spent receiving.

For years I had bowling as a gift to myself. I was good, & bowling was good to me. I practiced paying attention, developing my skill, learning the nuances of the game. Being competitive keep me in my body while taking my attention off business & gave me strength for creativity, family & friends & an overall feeling of ‘All’s well.’Now I have NIA & Zumba dance classes, Toastmasters, Chi Gong, & golf (a practice of being cheerful no matter where the ball goes) & writing Church of Attention each week. They all are gifts to me.

It can be as simple as get back in your body by taking a walk, dancing, playing sports, or gardening. Giving to yourself the gift of being present is one way of getting back into the now, out of your head & back into your “All’s well.’

Because Change is the Most Constant Manifestation in the Universe, Pay Attention.

40 - pay attention

Paying attention is the best investment in the future. Why? After all, if you just let things slide, don’t they always have a way of working themselves out anyway? Isn’t it really enough to just get by day to day? Why should you care to give your best to the way your life turns out? Statesman Patrick Henry’s answered complacency:

“

Why stand we here idle? 

What is it the gentlemen want?

What would they have?

Is life so dear, is peace so sweet, 

as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?

Forbid it, almighty God. 

I know not what course others may take,

As for me,

Give me liberty or give me death!”

The meaning is clear; complacency is a form of slavery. The shackles are comfortable & easy to slip into. They require nothing but disinterest & indifference.Why wait for disaster to wake you? At the foundation of your being, There is a desire to make a difference in life. Time to add your creative energy.

Remember the Bakery Slogan-“Life is short, Eat desserts first.”

Identify those grooves in your life that have become ruts.Where have you stopped paying attention?

Become curious like a child on an Easter Egg Hunt.

Keep your excitement & enthusiasm alive & alert.

Do it now, because tomorrow never comes.

Certainty

41 - certainty

My favorite affirmation is, "I live my life with certainty."

Works all the time when I decide to use it.

It’s not about being right. It's about leaving no time for doubt, second guesses, "stinking thinking," excuses, blames, or the "if only’s".

"Trust is a must or your game is a bust," is an old bowling affirmation & a call for certainty.

Where does the certainty come from? Is certainty a belief or from the outcome of our experience? Does our belief’s create certainty?

If certainty comes from experience, how does that work with new goals, or with the experiences that didn't work?

What about the times when being optimistic (a certainties attitude) failed, thus becoming pessimistic and doubt wins.

I have battled the doubt & certainty continuum from "for sure," through "maybe," into "no way".

Certainty needs decision & commitment as partners to battle doubt.

In sports there never is time for doubt. Practice, planning & preparation with coaching is how to create victory. Don't leave anything on the field.  Have a plan and see the feedback, respond, commit with certainty and the power of a team striving toward Goals.  But how do you handle doubt without a group or team, those times when you are solo?

Make Friends with Douby

"Hello, you must be Doubt. I'm Gary I need to find you a job while I pursue my goals. What would you like to do?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Just tell me what to do and I'll, wait. I doubt I'll do it. I'll call my friends the dis's: discouragement, despair, dis-EASE & muddle around in distraction as doubt."

"Well here's an idea," I said, "Why don't you take the job to REMIND me to focus on my goal & appreciate the distance I've traveled."

"Maybe," Doubt replied.

That's probably all one can expect from doubt, "maybe" is a step toward Certainty.

Yes Answers & Lists

How to get to the conscious end of the spectrum- It usually takes a Shock. Take a cold shower, risk, ask for help, or meditate in an uncomfortable position. DO not do what you have always done. I look to original thought & direct experience as guidelines to being at the conscious, versus the unconscious, mechanical ends of the continuum.How can I stay there-My favorite is to get a buddy and Check Inn. Be honest, caring & vulnerable & state what the as is is with the two of you. Have a feel for what you want, an intent & Clarity works for me. What are ten tricks to staying Present?

• Take a deep breath, & decide to.

• Get in your body.

• Do something physical.

• Have a goal.

• Put a rock in your shoe.

• Practice what got you present.

• Be grateful. Say thank you & mean it.

• Converse with the one in the mirror.

• Share your wit & wisdom with others.

• Stand on you head, or as close to as possible.

Five secrets to waking up:

• Decide to.

• Become lucid while asleep, as in knowing you are not awake.

• Recognize that there is more on “heaven & earth” than I realized.

• Say YES! & mean it.

• Trust yourself.

Three methods of keeping love alive:

• Decide to.

• Treat love like a garden. Plant the seeds of appreciation, weed the negativity, water the growth, harvest the fruits, love the fruit & be grateful.

• Start with your self. Love the one in the mirror.

The one word of wisdom I am passing on to my next of kin-YES!One word to eliminate from your private speaking - hate!

Priorities, Profile & Questions

“Success occurs when preparation & opportunity meet,” to quote Seneca, a Roman wise guy, so it is with our lives.

By knowing where we are, what we have created, where we want to go, we add to Who We Are.We increase the opportunity to not just show up, but show up on time with a plan and the tricks and treasures to make miracles happen.

As with each time I begin writing a Church of Attention I ask, ‘Where is my Attention?”  I sit and check out the NOW and then IMAGINE What Could Be.

The practice becomes a venture into the dead past and imagined future,  but if we don’t know where we are going ‘any road will do’, and if we don’t know where we’ve been perhaps history repeats itself and nothing new is deposited in our Karma accounts,  the saw doesn’t get sharpened,  and precious items are left out in the rain.

So I begin with some old questions:

• What is Happening?

• What do I Want?

• What have I Learned?

Those questions act as a Ground of Being setting the tone for exploring, one of my favorite verbs with newness, adventure and the UNKNOWN.Those questions serve me a huge plate to nosh upon.

What’s my current life appetizer? What gets me excited to get to my Harvest banquet? What gets the juices going for the entree? Does the entree fulfill my purpose? Am I getting enough nourishment? Am I eating too much, too little or gobbling up the same old same old? What new spice can I add? Am I still addicted to dessert? Am I rewarding myself, disciplining myself or trying a new treat?

Not sure what your questions are? 

Would you like a Life Long Learner to send you a profile of questions to assist your Harvest?

The Church of Attention, in collaboration with Questions For Success, is glad to play 20 Questions. Questions that you may not have thought about. Questions that can guide us, build our Attention and Karma accounts.