Are You a Noun or a Verb? The Freedom of Being Flexible

Someone asks you, "Who are you?" How do you answer?

Most of us reach for labels immediately: "I'm a teacher," "I'm a parent," "I'm an entrepreneur," "I'm a writer." We define ourselves with nouns—fixed categories that feel safe and familiar. But what if this very habit is limiting our potential and trapping us in boxes of our own making?

The Prison of Labels

Here's what I think, feel, and sense about who we are: I am a verb. Verbs change. It's tough to change as a noun.

When you define yourself as a noun, you create what I call "fixed attention"—the type of attention trapped in a square or a box. You become the teacher who can't learn, the parent who can't play, the professional who can't be vulnerable, the expert who can't admit uncertainty.

Think about it: when someone asks "Who are you?" and you reply with labels, you're essentially saying, "This is my permanent container. This is my unchanging form." But life doesn't work that way. Life is fluid, dynamic, constantly evolving.

The Liberation of Being a Verb

I am a writer, a speaker, a carpenter, a father, a husband, a cook, a dancer—I am all that and more. But fundamentally, I am a verb. An action without the need for qualifiers like "very," "really," "obviously," or "actually." My verbs stand on their own, just as I do.

My criteria, as a verb, are simple: being present, here, and now.

Being a verb doesn't mean I'm trapped in constant doing. I can still be a human being while embracing the flexibility of human becoming. I'm comfortable with the great pleasures and challenges of doing nothing—not thinking, not fretting, no worry or wanting, just flowing.

The Challenge and Gift of Label Freedom

When you embrace being a verb, you enter what I call "Label Freedom"—and it comes with unique challenges. Without fixed labels to define you, you enter territories of the unknown. Chaos and confusion can arise: "I don't know what I am doing, going, or even being."

Labels protect us from uncertainty. They're footholds, safety nets, comfortable ways to fix our attention and avoid the discomfort of not knowing. But they're also prisons that prevent growth and authentic self-expression.

Label Freedom opens the door into the room of questions:

• What is happening right now?

• Where am I in this moment?

• Why am I here?

• Who am I becoming?

• How does life work in this situation?

• What wants to emerge through me?

Attention as Your True Identity

This is a main principle of living consciously: attention is a verb, not a noun. We are verbs. It's liberating to realize we ARE our attention—an action, not a fixed object, person, place, or thing.

Attention is:

• Flexible and fluid - it teams well with other qualities and disappears when we try to pin it down

• Naturally curious - maybe anything that isn't interesting simply has no attention directed toward it

• Inherently inspiring - perhaps what lacks inspiration is missing conscious attention

• Healing and caring - what isn't caring or healing might be starved of loving attention

• The carrier of change - what doesn't change has attention stuck, glued, and limited

Your attention exists on a continuum—from mindless, mechanical sleepwalking (merely breathing attention) all the way to conscious, creative awareness of designed and deliberate action aimed with intent toward purpose and meaningful outcomes.

Breaking Free from the "Habit Police"

When you choose to live as a verb, you're essentially becoming an outlaw to what I call the "habit police"—those internal and external forces that serve and protect "what has always been." These forces enforce:

• The unconscious traps of sleepwalking through life

• The drills of automatic negativity

• The collars of always having to be right

• The shackles of avoiding mistakes at all costs

• The handcuffs of "already knowing" everything

Children naturally understand this. They flirt with being outlaws every day. When freedom offers them a chance for authentic self-expression, they want to ride that bronco! They instinctively know they're verbs before the world teaches them to be nouns.

Your Daily Verb Practice

So how do you live as a verb? Here are practical ways to embrace your flexible nature:

1. Question Your Labels

Each time you introduce yourself with a noun, pause and ask: "Is this who I am, or just something I do?" Notice how it feels to say "I write" versus "I am a writer."

2. Embrace "I Don't Know"

Instead of rushing to label experiences, get comfortable with uncertainty. Let yourself exist in the space between categories.

3. Focus on Present Action

Ask yourself throughout the day: "What am I doing right now?" rather than "What am I?" This shifts your identity from fixed to flowing.

4. Practice Response Flexibility

When situations arise, instead of responding from your habitual role, ask: "What does this moment call for?" Let your response emerge fresh.

5. Celebrate Change

Notice when you act differently than usual and celebrate it. "Wow, I'm not being my usual self—I'm being present to what's needed now."

The Noun or Verb Choice

Every moment, you have a choice: Will you be a noun or a verb?

Choosing to be a verb means:

• Embracing uncertainty as fertile ground for growth

• Allowing yourself to surprise yourself with new responses

• Living from presence rather than past patterns

• Staying curious about who you're becoming

• Flowing with life rather than rigidly resisting change

It's not always easy. The safety of labels calls to us, especially when we're scared or stressed. But in those moments of choice lies your greatest power—the power to define yourself not by what you've been, but by what wants to emerge in this moment.

Your Verb Revolution

Starting today, experiment with introducing yourself differently. Instead of leading with labels, try sharing what you're exploring, what you're curious about, or what you're in the process of becoming.

Notice how this shift changes not just how others see you, but how you see yourself. Notice the freedom that comes with not having to maintain a fixed image. Notice the aliveness that emerges when you're no longer defending a noun but expressing a verb.

You are not your job, your role, your past, or your circumstances. You are the conscious attention that moves through all these experiences, learning, growing, and continuously becoming.

You are a verb. Welcome to your freedom.

What labels have you been carrying that no longer serve you? What verb energy wants to emerge in your life? Share your insights below and let's explore this journey of becoming together.

Creativity

Where do ideas come from? What is an idea?

Not the constant internal radio program of any and everything nonsense, distraction, unfocused noise, but inspirational, solution oriented, excited to be alive ideas? I sit at the keyboard wondering what am I going to write? How do I know what I think till I hear, or read, what I have to say?

I stimulate myself with readings, meditation, or working in the garden. By recalling what happened during the week, sometimes a muse will set up a beacon guiding me towards an idea. Often it is more than one idea. I like to blend those to see the inter- connectedness of all things. It becomes a game to see how these

fits with that, or not. I like big broad strokes. I would rather go horizontal than the ever-popular half an inch wide, a mile deep.

Being an expert in one area feels limiting and boring, the ‘just one thing’ idea. Creativity and limits is an idea that excite me, inspire and will be solution oriented.

Working on Curing Seriousitis™ I have a chapter on The Third Force, an antithesis of the Binary system. The third force is that life is not an either, or situation. The binary or digital world is a yes, no world of black or white, right and wrong, democrat or republican. A very limiting world, but within the concept of limits, is unlimited, and a favorite of many the No Limits Practice.

Limits consist of rules and regulations, standard practices, and useful hints. There are those who play well with others, and those on the edge of how far you can go, where you cross the line and step out of the box. It is mainstream wisdom that says you must know the rule before you can break them. A musical jam

session is experts who know good music practices and trust that the session will create new ways of playing.

In the world of ideas, when I know how far I can go, the continuum of upper and lower limits, a cornucopia of ideas appears available, like the notes the jammers can play.

Within my world of ideas, the notes I can play are questions.

How does this work?

What if I do this?

What about that?

What is next?

If I went even further what would happen, the good, the bad, the ugly?

There is an exercise called Zen writing, where you put the pen to paper and just write, no judgement, no limits to ideas, no need for transitions, the purpose just let the ideas flow. Sometimes it is a mental dump and feels good to just throw up. Other times it taps a source. A muse steps in and shines the words and ideas with

brilliance, inspiring and answering your questions.

Ideas come from everywhere. It is rare when they stop.

For best usage of ideas flow from limits to unlimited. Give creativity a chance to show up. A new experience, an original thought, an insight, even a cure for Seriousitis

Pay Attention: Your Best Investment for the Future

Why Pay ing Attention is Your Best Investment in the Future

"Life is short, eat desserts first." This bakery slogan might seem like simple indulgence advice, but it carries a profound truth about how we invest our most precious resource: our attention.

The Comfortable Chains of Complacency

Why pay attention, after all? If you just let things slide, don't they always have a way of working themselves out anyway? Isn't it enough to just get by day to day? Why should you care to give your best to the way your life turns out?

These questions echo the dangerous whisper of complacency—a seductive voice that promises ease but delivers emptiness. American statesman Patrick Henry understood this trap when he declared: "Why stand we here idle? What is it the gentlemen want? What would they have? Is life so dear, is peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, almighty God. I know not what course others may take, As for me, Give me liberty or give me death!"

The meaning is crystal clear: complacency is a form of slavery. The shackles are comfortable and easy to slip into. They need nothing but disinterest and indifference. But these invisible chains rob us of our creative power and authentic life experience.

The Hidden Cost of Sleepwalking Through Life

When we stop paying attention, we become zombies of routine. We identify with the grooves in our lives that have slowly become ruts. We lose our childlike curiosity—that Easter egg hunt excitement that makes every moment potentially magical. We forget that at the foundation of our being lies a deep desire to make a difference in life.

Consider this: every moment you're not fully present is a moment you can't get back. Every experience you sleepwalk through is a missed opportunity for growth, connection, or joy. The cost isn't just what you miss—it's who you never become.

Change: The Universe's Only Constant

Here's what makes paying attention so crucial: change is the most constant manifestation in the universe. If you're not paying attention, you might miss it. You might miss the subtle shift in your child's interests, the early warning signs in your health, the emerging opportunity in your career, or the moment when your partner needs you most.

The world is constantly offering us feedback, lessons, and gifts. But these treasures are only visible to those who have learned to truly see.

Breaking Free: Your Path to Conscious Living

So how do you break free from the comfortable chains of inattention? Start here:

1. Become Curious Like a Child

Remember what it felt like to discover something new? That wide-eyed wonder is still within you. Approach familiar situations with fresh eyes. Ask questions. Notice details you've overlooked a thousand times.

2. Identify Your Ruts

Take an honest inventory: Where have you stopped paying attention? Which areas of your life are running on autopilot? Your relationships? Your work? Your health? Your dreams?

3. Embrace "Do It Now" Energy

Tomorrow never comes—it's always today when you wake up. The perfect moment you're waiting for is a myth. The messy, imperfect now is where life actually happens.

4. Keep Your Excitement Alive

Enthusiasm isn't childish—it's life force. What genuinely excites you? What makes you feel most alive? These aren't frivolous pursuits; they're your attention's natural magnets.

The Investment That Always Pays Returns

Unlike financial investments that can crash, paying attention always yields dividends. When you invest your attention consciously:

• Relationships deepen because people feel truly seen and heard

• Opportunities appear because you notice what others miss

• Problems solve faster because you catch them early

• Life becomes richer because you're actually experiencing it instead of thinking about it

Your Attention Revolution Starts Today

Why wait for disaster to wake you? Why postpone the adventure of conscious living? At this very moment, you have the power to shift from passive observer to active creator of your experience.

Take a breath. Look around. Notice something you haven't seen before, even in this familiar space. Feel your feet on the ground. Hear the sounds around you that you usually filter out.

This is it—you're paying attention. And in this moment of presence, you've just made the best investment in your future you possibly can.

Remember: the quality of your attention determines the quality of your life. The question isn't whether you can afford to pay attention—it's whether you can afford not to.

Oh Happy Day Goals and Id's

What about goals, free attention and not being attached to outcomes?

Goals are the gifts we give ourselves, but I, like others Curing Seriousitis™, at times are attached to having outcomes our way.

I am trained in using the specific, measurable outcomes that reflect my accountability. A way that is enjoyable, enlightening and easily remembered, so I can repeat it. However, in all these years of using goals, messages have come to me that there are other forces at work in my multi-verse.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray and Love, in a Ted Talk gives some very convincing arguments from Roman times that ‘Muses’ are still at work.

Anyone with ‘writers’ block’ can attest that when we get out of our own way {the DEBS- distractions, excuses, blames and self-pity} we begin to function as creators or channelers.

The whole questions of creation become circumspect when I ponder “The questions is whether man makes his own language or whether wisdom enters from above, using man as a mere vehicle for divine providence” to quote Herbert Whone.

The new age phrase, ‘Let Go, Let God” is a razors edge in the free attention quest of creation. Notwithstanding the huge question of God, not to be pondered today, but what is it to Let Go, Let God?

Is it to let go of the doubts and uncertainty while also letting go of the compulsive chronic critic of contraction (counter action)?

Yes, letting go of such identities can be a greater challenge than ‘writers block.’

How can this negative mental attitude (NMA) identity be useful?

What other purposes can it serve? Can I put it to work? My human system is very involved in staying safe without the need of self-abasement and ‘hammers of stupid and wrong’. I

would like the NMA identity to referee, or coach me away from the ego world of having to be right, not making mistakes and the so boring ‘I already know this, that, or the other.’

Let the NMA identities teach and remind me how to handle my critics and Seriousitis™. The Id’s can hear the clues, the stinking thinking and give them a ‘thanks for sharing’, a discreation from the Hoover, or even a thanks I can use that.

My identities like to be useful, and open doors to let the Muses handle creation and goals.

Grandpa Gary And Reading for Happiness

Wisdom passes not only from the elder, the Grand parent, but from the child to the Elder.

Trent, our eldest grandson, at age 7, a second grader, when he visits, we have homework to do. Last night it was reading aloud a wonderful story by Mary Pope Osborne from Monday with a Mad Genius. The children in the story, Annie and Jack, “with imagination (that) can make life a wondrous adventure…(seek)

Leonardo da Vinci, one of the world’s greatest geniuses. (He) was a lot like a kid who never grew up. Even when working he seemed to be playing and asking; ‘I wonder what would happen if….”

Annie and Jack set out to find Leonardo Da Vinci, the mad genius, to find the secret of happiness. They have a magic wand; it is how they travel back to Florence to meet with Leonardo. Their wand, the Wand of Dianthus, has three rules: “You can only use it for the good of others. You can only use it after you have tried your hardest. And you can only use it with a command of five words.”

Grandpa Gary thinks those are the five magic words of wisdom, “Tell me about your (self, cares, loves). In the hair salon it was ‘tell me about your hair, and it means I am interested about you and want you to share what is important.

Upon finding Leonardo, the magic wand, or their conscience, told Annie and Jack to spend the whole day helping Leonardo.

When they first met Leonardo, Jack asked, “What is the secret of happiness?”

“Fame” replied Leonardo, “Now that I am famous everyone smiles at me.”

Grandpa Gary thinks fame is fleeting, and in the story it is. Leonardo has a series of failures with a fresco that does not dry.

The fire he starts to help it dry, smokes over the colors. Leonardo goes into a funk, feeling his failure does not mix with fame. He rushes home not to be seen and indulges in his funk.

“If I felt that bad, I wouldn’t want people to bother me,” Annie said.

But Jack was quick to respond, “Not bother, help.”

I wondered which one of these would I choose, help or hide?

It seems many friends when it looks like failure, when sunk in the funk, they stay stunk without a deodorizer, and do not ask for help.

Annie and Jack have the wisdom of children and they know that “a great artist has to combine observation with imagination.”

When they visit Leonardo’s with helping hands and a bite to eat, they help Leonardo find the true “secret of happiness.”

“Curiosity is the secret,” says Leonardo. “Always ask questions. Always learn something new. Ask: Why? When?

Where? I wonder what this means. I wonder how that works…. I am always searching for answers to things I do not understand.”

Leonardo, one of the greatest geniuses, knows that it is the questions that control our happiness. It is to be as curious as a child.

Grandpa Gary asks; how can children be so wise?

After The Harvest Come The Celebrations

One tenet of Curing Seriousitis™ is to acknowledge what is, exercise present moment awareness, share and enjoy.

Fall is the time of harvest, the time to bring in the rewards of our efforts. It is time to celebrate. I hope it happens all over the planet, being joyous and appreciating the bounty with celebration.

Start the celebrations by putting real meaning into Halloween, pondering what is holy about this day.

Halloween is about changing your costume and the abilities to change who you are. Use change as a tool, after all change is inevitable, and conscious change creates more choices to celebrate.

Use Halloween to find new ways to look at life. To craft an attitude adjustment to have fun. Use the costume and mask to try on a new role. Be shocking, scary, be a fantasy or dress to honor someone or thing. What about being a guiding light, an anti-dote, a Mayan goddess.

The day after Halloween, November First is All Saints Day. Is it possible to see and treat everyone as a Saint that day? It’s only one day and could become a stepping-stone to the next celebration, and a new attitude.

Next for the Americans is turkey day also known as Thanksgiving. A great time to construct a gratitude list. Extort your gratitude as grace. Share your bounty, even if it is a conscious morsel left on your plate for an uninvited guest or stranger.

There are holidays I do not yet understand, like Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Search and ask for the meanings. Practice respect for other people’s rituals. Empowering yourself and others by respecting what you may not understand is a great practice for daily life.

Then Christmas arrives, with its multitude of great meanings, a day of commercial magnitude, good cheer, goodwill, and excited children. Extend the myths and magic of giving and receiving.

Welcome the miracle of birth and the blessing that the light has returned. Put a bow on it, wrap the present and join with others to feel the oneness of humanity.

From the season of giving, give yourself a new start on New Year’s Day. Use the space from New Years to Chinese New Year to make ReSoultions to create in the New Year the way you want.

Your harvest is the tools and treasure to become the building blocks of the New Year.

It is the time to Celebrate our Holy Days, because if you are not appreciating this moment, what are you doing?

The Society Of The Mirrors II

The Society of the Mirrors shines light into those dark recesses of eerie unknowns, closed corners, hidden dreams, lost hopes, blind faith, and illuminate for brief moments what is, was and may be.

The Society of Mirrors’ only limits are the sources of light, size of mirror, and clarity of glass.

The Society of Mirrors offers few labels, fewer answers, hopeful clarity and reflects the freedom to see while mirroring the stillness of being you.

The Society of Mirrors believes it holds the secret of freedom. It holds questions that shine light into deeper nooks and recesses of the psyche. A mirror and its user see and appreciate that the source is making itself known. Pure, undefined awareness and acceptance.

Here is an old Society of the Mirrors story from the archives-

Long ago in a faraway village, there was a place known as The House of Mirrors. A little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at a thousand other happy little dogs with tails wagging as fast as his.

He smiled a great smile and answered with a thousand great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, “This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often.”

In the same village, another little dog, who was not happy like the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the thousand unfriendly-looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see a thousand little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, “this is a horrible place, and I will never come back here again.”

Saint Augustine, an ancient member of The Society of the Mirrors wrote, “If you are loving and diligent, you may do whatever you want.”

The Society of the Mirrors sees you reflected as a Sage, one who mirrors himself well.

The Society of the Mirror shows the honest man Diogenes looked for, the tool where change begins by honestly seeing who we are.

Some qualifications were revealed, some are obvious, and all come from the heart and soul, please step into the Checking Inn.

Happy Labor Day

“Work is love made visible. “

I love to labor on Labor Day. It’s a Check Inn to end summer vacation and restart the labor of learning. I love to go back to school, for new and old friends, for the teachers and lessons, for the love and passion of wisdom, mentoring and playing; recess is not an economic condition.

Here’s my class schedule:

-Advanced Golden Rule-

Life framed in the positive, so everybody wins. Lessons in selfishness that work for everyone in word, deed and vision.

-Psychology of Awareness-

Is there a desire for change? Practice Transformative psychology to recognize the next step, the pacing leading to create a compelling future.

-Physical Education-

Competition without self-degradation. How to lose with honor and win with grace. The Zen behind the body. Being pleasant while golfing.

- Shameless Self Promotion-

Marketing your values. A combo class with public speaking and economics. How to ASK so you can GET.

For the back-to-school preparation remember school shopping, the economy depends on us. Get a new pencil box, a fancy pen and paper, and cool clothes, especially a new vest because Paying Attention is my best inVESTment, Remember to bring an apple or ripe tomato for the teachers.

Remember to share your lunch, stories, and self.

Life Long Learning may be our purpose in life.

Segues

The transition from Grandpa Gary, carpenter, and back to Life Long Learner, Mr. Public Speaker GC Smith,

Transformational Goal developer, and trainer has taken a full week. It was a fun week coming home to Raleen, the gardens, resting and recapping since the latest TG workshop and the blistering pace of building the deck and playing with the grandkids at Zane and Leslie’s home.

I am not without new projects.

It seemed like a good time to harvest the compost, nice mindless physical work with metaphoric transformative implications, creating fertilizer. I got a gig being the announcer for a fund-raising softball game. I get to play without getting hurt, assume a new role as the color man with humor, and keep the

purpose of the event in mind, which is to create scholarship funds.

However, the discipline to write to Cure Seriousitis™ escaped me yesterday so I call on my SMARTER Goals methods and ask; How to get my discipline and energy back?

Ask for help.

Pray to the universe or multi-verse. Send a letter to the universe asking for support, no postage required. Ask your significant other, your coach, your buddy, for help. Be sure to have your positive intent and feel the positive intent of the other person before asking. Like the ‘Little Train that Could,’ believe I can.

Laugh at the absurdity.

I am breathing, moving, eating, enjoying, so laugh at being alive. I have a cornucopia of energy.

Think gradient.

Start with a little project like putting away the dishes to feel the intent to clear and organize the space. Gain some momentum and be gentle. Put down the self-debasing hammer. Discipline is built by doing a good, even great job.

Be Grateful.

I thanked my wife for turning on the dishwasher. Remember nothing changes till you are Grateful for it. Acknowledge what the ‘as is, is’, then use the thank you prayer. Pay attention to what you have, not what you don’t have. I have the time to rest and enjoy being home.

Show Gumption.

Decide to make a call I have resisted. Get off the couch and do something, even if it’s just being OK doing nothing. Life is often a contradiction, specifically between something and nothing when anything will do.

Create goals.

Get SMARTER by getting gradient and feeling good. Accept and acknowledge my outcomes. After a recap on the workshop, the carpentry, and being home I have a new insight into what I believe to be bad; Grandpa Gary believes bad is when you take the toys, tools, or balls so that others can’t play. Fodder for a new Curing Seriousitis™ message.

Thanks for reading. Share and enjoy. I got my discipline.

The Society of the Mirrors Reflections

The mirror, reflector of images, self-induced for those who wish to observe themselves. To see their actions and reactions.

The poses, the unencumbered with any fence concreting the spontaneity of creation.

The mirror reflects and possibly frames who you are.

There were many before Narcissus who spied the magical being in the water. Most, upon beholding the image, were aghast at how it cooperated with every movement. An apparition that acted just like the observer.

Though there were occasional movements the observer had never seen, or at least not noticed, the moment when the observer recognized the vision as being his or her own; the being changed.

A new door opened. Perhaps a part of the brain, reserved for some momentous event shifted gears, and became a watcher of the mirror.

The event, though insightful, may have been a cause for the fall into narcissism, concerned that someone or something was watching.

For some it may have started a show, an escape from consciousness into distraction. Some humans were filled with awe, curiosity and interest and became early members of The Society of the Mirror.

They wondered. “How does this work? Who is that in there?”

And the mess-SAGES and QUEST-ions of the mirror began:

What happens to the: Child who adores its reflection?

The child who abhors its reflection.

The child who adjusts to its reflection.

The child who aligns to its reflection.

The child who amends its reflections.

The child who atones to its reflection.

The child who assumes the reflection is real.

The child who argues with its reflection.

The child who anoints its reflection.

The child who augments its reflection.

From the questions The Society of the Mirrors began to gather Beliefs:

What does a child see in the mirror before indoctrinating into labels, limits, indoctrinations, and indulgences when seeing the reflection?

What do you see if you had no limits or labels?

When first we gazed upon our self in the still waters of a pond the question flowed, like water rushing thru the narrows, we asked “Who are you?” The answer never came.

The questions became sealed in the psyche with make believe Gods keeping the mystery alive.

This reflection, the echo of essence in the water, shone light from a different source. As a touch sends ripples to distort the image in water, so stepping back the image grew across the waters. Still not knowing whom the image was, an answer spoke, “I am not you.”

Then find a hidden pool, and looking deep past bubbles, into the traces of light, seeing yourself as other’s see. Am I seeing the me of the past or into the future? Am I blinded by my beliefs of who I am?

The Society of the Mirrors shines light into those dark recesses of eerie unknowns, closed corners, hidden dreams, lost hopes, blind faith, and illuminate for brief moments what is, was and may be.

The Society of Mirrors’ only limits are the sources of light, size of mirror, and clarity of glass.

The Society of Mirrors offers few labels, fewer answers, hopeful clarity and reflects the freedom to see while mirroring the stillness of being you.

The Society of Mirrors believes it holds the secret of freedom. It holds questions that shine light into deeper nooks and recesses of the psyche. A mirror and its user see and appreciate that the source is making itself known. Pure, undefine awareness and acceptance.

The mirror shows that the awakening of reflective conversation opens the cultural question; who is it that is looking out from behind these eyes?

Now I realize that others see me as I see myself when I look into a mirror. That I inspire acceptance and appreciation of others as I do so with myself. I learn from their reflection to be more truly who I am when there is no reflection. When I am source. In this way our unity and shared reality is an enlightened humanity.

Here is an old Society of the Mirrors story from the archives-

Long ago in a faraway village, there was a place known as The House of Mirrors. A little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at a thousand other happy little dogs with tails wagging as fast as his.

He smiled a great smile and answered with a thousand great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, “This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often.”

In the same village, another little dog, who was not happy like the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the thousand unfriendly-looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see a thousand little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, “this is a horrible place, and I will never come back here again.”

Saint Augustine, an ancient member of The Society of the Mirrors wrote, “If you are loving and diligent, you may do whatever you want.”

The Society of the Mirrors sees you reflected as a Sage, one who mirrors himself well.

The Society of the Mirror shows the honest man Diogenes looked for, the tool where change begins by honestly seeing who we are.

Some qualifications were revealed, some are obvious, and all come from the heart and soul, please step into the Checking Inn

Being Well Balanced

Here is a recipe for happiness. Add equal parts of what you love, what you fear, things that are beautiful, things you don’t or won’t judge, drink lots of water, sit up straight, smile at everyone and practice balance.

For the bottom liner’s, those who ask ‘What’s in It For Me (WIIFM) amongst us, one word, Moderation, says it all. Balance activity with rest. Balance fruits and vegetables with proteins and carbs. Balance your attention out on other people with balancing quiet times and attention in on oneself.

For the more adventurous, those who do not have clearly defined edges, rules or procedures, moderation is a limit. Balance is more the fun and challenging tightrope on the edge than recommended daily allowances of moderation. It is the stand on one foot, the juggle, movement without excess tension, the trip and catch yourself, without the fall type balance. There is a balance for both ends of the happiness continuum

that can be practiced for safety, increased physical awareness and a panacea for dementia. Postural balance is a way to keep gravity at a minimum and continue to build plasticity in neural pathways keeping the brain doing brainwork. This is the type of balance that supports the tree posture in yoga, the challenges of walking the cracks in the sidewalk, the basic riding a bicycle balance, even a sobriety test.

This physical freedom is not easy to acquire. The human body is too often ignored, and a real feeling of bodily awareness is seldom experienced.

Feeling awareness is the ability of the body to sense its own existence, for the body to become conscious of itself. It is not just the talk of being “more aware” of the body, because this can suggest simply observing it from the outside. It is feeling the body from within.

The difficulty arises because we spend most of the time in a state of identification with the external world. We appear stuck outside our body, in distraction, making accessing and using our center for balance challenging.

It may be that we experience our body only when in pain and have blindness to the tensions that creep into the muscles and joints, interfering with the natural freedom of movement. To build our balance center, to recover this freedom is a worthy aim, and requires the ability to let go of tension.

Here is an exercise to relieve tension in the neck. This area is called the Atlas, from mythology, the one who carried the weight of the world. Make tiny, almost invisibly small figure eight motions with the tip of your nose. This un-do’s tension in the neck.

Make the figure eights smaller and smaller, and the neck and shoulders become looser and freer with every figure eight you do.

Learning to use your breathing with the concept of a ‘backward flowing motion,’ allows gravity to provide a sensation of letting go. Our bodies want to relax, but years of tension require new skills and practice to get back to our balanced state and let gravity ease up and be our friend.

Whether a moderator, or one on the edge, keeping one’s balance physically is great exercise to keep from missing old age.

3 DOM

Sometimes our challenges talk to us, or for us. Till about the fourth grade, I had a lisp. A problem pronouncing t h’s. They became wifs. I was teased, ‘get wif it they said.’ I worked at my pronunciation as a reaction to the teasing. I didn’t, and still don’t like being wrong, and I had a dad, a teaser at home. School was my sanctuary and one reason I keep enrolling in the University of Gary to keep from being teased.

As I add those memories of t h’s and threes’ to the teachings from Gurdjieff, quantum physic, Toastmasters ‘Rule of Threes, and life experience, the lessons of three magnifies. Even today the San Francisco Chronicle Sports page headlined “ 3 is the Magic Number.”

From the point of view of Curing Seriousitis™, free attention is the lack of being attached to being right. Or being identified as your job, your relationship, your age, sex, any and all labeling other than being a verb, your attention is fixed.

Usually, it is our ego’s that fix our attention with the three ego traps:

1-I have to be right.

2-I can’t make a mistake.

3-I already know that.

Those are three ways to stop learning. How we lose our free attention (freedom), and believe that something, other than ourself, is in charge of our happiness.

I encourage us to look at a new, different, and meaningful way to create and maintain freedom ‘wif’ a unique spelling-3Dom.

This is 3D that really makes an impact without the silly glasses, a new and freeing way to look at life.

3 Dom to see we always have choices. That the world is not an either-or situation. Yes and no are not the only answers. It is not this or that, but something else.

3 Dom works magic teaching children. Raising a child with a harangue of “No’s” creates imprints still felt by this elder.

Giving a child another choice reinforces the magic of 3.

Find another option and share that message to the child.

Another toy and another choice exist. As friends, family, parents, and grandparents see more choices sharing 3 Dom.

“Get ‘wif’ it.

3 dom is freeing.

Self-Care and Pain

Ooh. Ouch. I got an Owie!

 Woo-woo time.

I taught my son, when he was 4-years-old, how to make those childhood cuts and bruises ease with ‘PAIN-BE-GONE.’ A cure-all for owies. It is a way to make the crying stop and healing begin.

 I would put my hand over the owie and tell him to breathe “healing” into my hand, and with love and compassion send the pain devils away. We synchronized our breath, and voila,  it was all better. Still works on the grandkids, but I am only getting temporary relief from my gout.

 One of my friends said to me, “Gout isn’t that the rich man’s disease?”

At first that remark felt like I was being condemned for my rich life style. I could feel myself heading toward resenting the remark when I realized, I am rich! Let me count my blessings. King Midas does not have all the gold I have in my treasury.

One of my treasures is curiosity and its well-developed cousin interest, as in ‘that’s interesting, how does that work?’

 Being interested over the source of gout I found the  The cause is excess uric acid in my system, which I smell after eating asparagus. I am too acidic. I need to balance my system and develop a new diet to become more alkaline.

 The pain, though no longer debilitating, is at times discomforting,  impairs creativity, energy, and fun. I am using the pain as a  muse in creating this essay.

 Being a wordsmith, I like to source words. I use Shipley’s Dictionary of Word Origin and found the word pain has a Latin charge to it.

“The word pain shows the olden belief that our troubles are the result of our sins; we pay the penalty.” Pain has relatives, ‘pine,’ pay, ‘penance,’ become penitent, are placed in penitentiary where one may repent. ’All word relatives of pain.

 Referencing my own internal encyclopedia there are two phrases I have often used relating to pain; “People do not make changes without pain,” and a corollary, “Where do you go to create change without pain?”  

 I started getting relief when I looked at the positive intent of gout, then became gouts friend. 

 There are lessons here; build your self-appreciation muscle, and a willingness to change.

 For pain freedom it helps to clear your focus.

 When you focus on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.

 When you focus on what you do have, you will always have plenty.

 “Pain-be-gone” is a good beginning for self-care, and a messenger for change.  

Accept the Unacceptable

Do all beliefs contain their opposites? If so, how to get more out of the opposites in life?

Beliefs are often subtle and hidden, especially from the believer.

From a strictly physics point of view, beliefs would be the natural resistance all energy creates.

What opposes the belief that all beliefs contain their opposites?

“I don’t know.”

No, what oppose the belief that all beliefs contain their opposites?

Oh, yes, “I don’t know.” The anthem of honest atheists.

I do know that explorations of my beliefs eventually uncover the opposites. This realization strikes me as crazy.

“Now let me get this right. Whatever I believe; like I am good, I also believe, I am bad.”

“You got it”!

“I am, I am not. I want. I don’t want. Crazy”

“Yes, if you believe in crazy.”

“But there still is attention. The tool my consciousness uses with some control over where my attention goes. All those belief continuums do exist separate from my attention, and from this NOW, where beliefs become nothing more than a limiting label.

“I don’t know, and I am fully present.” An atheist in the NOW.

Do we have nothing lest we have beliefs? Without beliefs is there nothing? Is it a question of creation?

If this is a binary world, a world with the limits of our opposites, are we trapped in a yes and no, good, and bad, up, and down, world?

Is it possible and high on the Ever-Evolving Evolution of Enlightenment continuums to see and use a Third Force?

A Third Force allows the acceptances of the unacceptable. Where our choices go beyond our limits.

Third Force exists when attention is free, and what appears as a limit becomes a springboard to another choice. An opening to new or previously unrecognized adventure, exploration, or direction.

Let’s accept the unacceptable and see what happens.

Synaptogenesis’ {Snap to Genesis}

Synaptogenesis, a new innovative word to me. I found the word in the book Pavlov’s Trout, essays from neuro-psychologist Paul Quinett. Paul is obsessed with fishing, both the real adventure and the metaphor. I am interested in catching fish and understanding new concepts. It is an anatomical understanding of what happens in the brain when acquiring new information, “…about growing new neural tissue, increasing the complexity and richness of connections between neurons, and structural changes in the fundamental operations of the brain itself. This process is called synaptogenesis.”

I heard that the brain ‘snaps to creation. ’ The genesis “the origin or mode of formation of something” when we learn.

My inner movie screen began showing PAC-MEN© grabbing knowledge, increasing intelligence and our connections to life, the universe, and everything. A movie of newness and hope was showing as the gray matter expanded into the unknown. I began to appreciate how we are wired to expand, to move past our habits and enter new, undiscovered territory and connect it with what we know.

Seemed both an epiphany and an ‘oh yea, that’s how it’s done.

I turned toward the epiphany and how I can use this new info to grow my attention. I felt a great comfort in knowing that we are wired to expand unless we stop reaching, stop looking, stop being aware that everything is new, and our system is set to snap to creation.

There was nothing to change, just some stuff not to pay attention to; distraction, SOS (same ole stuff), my ego being right and already knowing everything!

The concept is akin to the discomfort of paying attention to what I don’t have, versus paying attention to what I do have. The extreme spectrum of what we don’t want feels real, BUT what is real is that it is my attention AND I CAN focus it wherever I want.

Half empty.

Half full.

It’s all good,

So snap too!

Genesis can be any creation you want.

Continuum-Dynamic Ease

As a dynamic red sun rises over the hills of Benicia, I reflect upon a most amazing dance class called NIA-non impact aerobics. .

NIA is conscious dance. It is the freedom to follow the pleasure of one’s body, to stretch to ancient and new tunes, connects ones breath in rhythm to sweat and create art with your body, solo, and in choreography with fellow dancers.

Todays’ lesson is the continuum of ease and dynamics. The dance flows with lightness, transitioning to a forceful vibrancy. Take the same movement and increase the intensity by becoming as statuesque as marble or granite. Then become as fluid as a stream or floating like a feather.

Conscious dance means I am the source of the dance. A creator not drawn to habitual movement. I may use a grapevine, an eight-step rhythm, an elevating movement in praise, or a bow of gratitude. I am moving in new ways, seeking the force of a modern dancer and next softening becoming the chi of gentleness.

The instructor often adds another dimension. An aspect like speaking using vocal variety, changing volume or tempo. Making a guttural statement aloud using power words, YES! NO! Maybe?

The dance becomes a continuum of Repulse, Attract, Let Go. With broad powerful strokes then transition to the flimsiness of shading bringing harmony or contrast to the palette.

NIA is a dance of playfulness. A game to find unknown beauty and pleasure in being the music. Using the magic of sounds, the joy of movement and the truth that we are our creator and accepting and creating change, consciously.

Thanks to all the moms, especially mine, for enrolling me in dance class as a 12-year -old.

Continuums

Life is not an either-or situation.

Life is not a yes or no world, but a continuum.

The more we understand the continuums we exist upon, the more flexibility we have in life. More choices, greater freedoms, increased confidence. Life then becomes a feedback loop.

Here are four meta-models, concepts that catch continuums of consciousness.

Attention is on continuums and can be like a magnet; they attract, and they repel.

Attention particles have an amazing affinity to act as researcher’s believe they will act. I think it is more than the scientific method of observing first, then thinking. Observation of attention seems to be connected to the observers beliefs.

Quantum physicists,’ when studying wave theory, observe energy particles as waves. But with the same apparatus studying the same energy and looking for particles they find energy is particles.

Does the observers intent make the difference?

Magnets are polarity, like consciousness. Our attention attracts concepts, beliefs, tangibles, and people, which it also repels. This magnetism forms our model of motivation.

Are we attracted toward what we want, or are we repelled?

Here are four continuums we all fall within.

1-Our motivational continuum: Moving towards our goals or moving away from what we don’t want. Call it attraction and repulsion. In speaking there are those whose motivation is to move away from fear, and those who move toward creating greater skills.

2- Worldview continuum: Those who believe in options or possibilities, and those who are procedural and love structure and rules. There is time and uses for both.

3-Proactive or reactive continuum: Are you an initiator or do you wait and see? The initiator is proactive and motivated from inside. The reactor is moved by what’s on the outside. No right, or wrong with either.

4-Specific or general continuum: Do you look at life specifically or in general? Is life big, broad strokes or small exactitudes?

My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and are on opposite ends of these four continuums. We balance each other by covering the full continuum, and are conscious of our differences, and have fun.

To repeat, life is not an either-or situation. Not a yes or no world, but a continuum.

The more continuums we are aware of, the greater the choices. We have more values we can manifest and share.

Most virtues come from the most important virtue, patience. It takes patience to know and understand ourselves and each other, the more love we experience. Continuums open us to see a positive feedback loop.

I am on the move toward continuum. My wife is on the move away continuum. She cuts-removes hair, covers gray. I built buildings and now build confidence, content, and clarity in presentations.

When we take turns cooking she loves procedure and follows recipes. I look in the fridge, see what’s available, and create. I initiate, volunteer, and take risks. I am an outlaw, outside the box, an entrepreneur. She reacts to how your hair acts, loves me to make decisions, and has comments on the situation at hand.

When we go out to dinner and I say Italian, she always says Pasta Primavera. Who do you thinks orders the same thing each time and who tries something new? My wife and I both desire pizza. When we order a pizza, it is half pepperoni for her, and half one with everything for me.

Gratitude is heaven itself

I’m working on the tricks to keep goals and discipline alive. It takes constant reminders.

Having an attitude of gratitude is useful all the time. Both as the means and outcome to having goals. It’s not a chicken or egg question; it is the reason we work on ourselves. It may be that as human’s; part of our conflict is from our dual nature of wanting what we want and wanting to get along with everyone.

Working on yourself we run into our conflicting nature.

Aldous Huxley wrote, “Man is a self-adoring egotist, but an egotist who often feels an intense distaste for the object of his idolatrous worship.” This is our hammer of self-abasement that beats us. I don’t think other species go through such self- defeating manifestations.

What can be a constant reminder to wake up to our uniqueness?

Start from the beginning, our birth. Recently my wife attended a baby shower. A celebration hosted by friends and family of the mom to be. The event was full of goodies, gifts, and games. A girl’s only celebration of what is to come. I’d like this attitude of celebrating birth imprinted daily as I practice being me. Because it does take practice. It’s easy to see, feel, and hear the stories that life is scary. Then turn off our sensors. Let the discipline get lost, the goals forgotten, the self- inflicted pain of the ‘hammer’ manifest. But is the memory of our birth enough?

Can I use my power to model those who have maintained the discipline, achieved their goals, and are devoted to doing the practice of truly being themselves? You know them, those who share their inspiration to go beyond fears of inadequacy, of resentment and practice heaven on earth by awakening to this, the only moment we have and being grateful. Appreciation of self can begin with appreciation of others. It is never to early or late to create heaven on earth with your gratitude.

Does nothing in life change until we are grateful?

How to keep Love Alive.

Love never dies, just fades away or gets temporarily misplaced, for how can what rules life ever be lost?

In 1981 I began my seminar career. I became addicted to rooms of people wanting to keep love alive. Wanting to feel free to tell the truth. To learn, develop and teach unconditional love. It was the love that put you and me at the soft core of our heart.

Where acceptance, appreciation and miracles existed, and fear became False Evidence Appearing Real. Where we were encouraged to act, to share our experience, and to readily accept change.

The wonders and magic of the transformational seminars still exist, as we all returned to our everyday life, back to the job, or no job, to the significant other or not, and to those habits embedded in us from childhood.

I wanted to maintain the friendships, the values and know that without practice gravity would return us to the ‘same old same.’ The in-same-ity.

Now, decades later I still send love to each of you and give three reminders of how To keep Love Alive.

My first reminder, I start my days with a cup of tea and words of wisdom from a hero of the Beat Generation, Jack Kerouac. He worked hard at keeping love alive, took us On the Road, opened the books on the Dharma, and shared the wonders of a cup of tea.

The first sip is joy,

The second is gladness.

The third sip serenity.

The fourth madness (the other end of the spectrum from in-same-ity).

The fifth sip is ecstasy.

I love to share a cuppa tea.

The second reminder, in the early seminars, new age music was just starting, and wise producers of transformation found a musical gem for Sunday morning with Pachelbel’s cannon. Here are three masterful versions of a second reminder:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNQLJ1_HQ0 with original instruments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Af372EQLck with a painting of Pachelbel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjA5faZF1A8 With electric guitar--WOW!

My third insight to keep love alive arrived recently from saying yes to helping a friend build a network of speakers and mentoring the ‘shy one’. The one so full of love she cooks it, laughs a lot, and gets the vegetables to sacrifice themselves to keep love alive.

“There is one more secret I like to add when I prepare food.   While I am cooking, I talk to the food …it sounds weird, but it really works….(food) becomes tastier and tastier, becomes yummy….” For example, ’Mr. Potato you are becoming so tasty. And you Miss Onion, not to sharp and bring tears to my eyes. And my pretty Pepper please keep your shy blush and join the others in the soup of love.” Thank you, Rumi Takenouchi for teaching to be a chatterbox cook to the food, keeping love alive.  

As a bonus, learn to give more and receive more. Accepting the love coming to you and being thankful. It is part of the Golden Rule, knowing how you want to be treated helps keep love alive.

Conscious Mortality

Being aware of the presence of our demise is as rare as the common sense necessary to count back change.

“Here’s your change, that’s $14.95 from $20, a nickel makes $15, and $5 makes $20.”
Counting change is a game where you start with the end in mind. What about starting or at least being aware of life with the end in mind because life does end, it’s a round trip.

If I knew the end of this life was tomorrow, or today, say after lunch would I: Repent?
Rue the moment?
Regret and moan to the end.
Or find my attention quite expansive?
Express emotions of gratitude? Would my mind become curious and interested? Would I be kinder and nicer?

A philosopher and teacher from the last century, wrote in his epic 1,238-page novel, All and Everything, “the sole means now for the saving of the beings of the planet Earth would be to implant …a new organ…that everyone of those unfortunates during the process of existence should constantly sense and be
cognizant of the inevitability of his own death as well as the death of everyone upon who his eyes or attention rests.”

Best-selling anthropologist, Carlos Castaneda, referred to death as constantly being over a spiritual warriors shoulder in his many books.

Simon and Garfunkel sang “♪So I’ll continue to pretend, my life will never end.”
Robbie Robertson, Bob Dylan’s first electric guitarist, picked up the theme on his The Native American album with the chant,
“♪It’s a good day to die♪.”
Put your life on the line.
What do I have to lose?
These clichéd lines of motivation; to not hold back, to get in the flow, to be all you can be, to leave it all on the court, are real!
Mainstream wisdom, from the righteous right to the liberal left, encourages us to be here now, to worship the moment.

Being present to what we love, family, friends, especially this moment. To go beyond our habits and inhabit the thoughts of how do I want to be when I die?
How do I want to be as I live?
We heard of the ‘Bucket List.” Those things to experience even appreciate before we ‘kick the bucket’.
I have an old friend who took this seriously; I mean dying is serious business, a business worthy of paying attention too. Here are some of what he wrote:*

“Is there a cool way to go?
How would you rather go, “MAKING LOVE or MAKING WAR?
“Leaving them Guessing or Leave them Groaning?
“Making a Difference or Making an Alibi?
“Trailblazing or Covering Your Tracks?
“Full of Passion or Full of Pills?

What’s a cool way to go?
“Laughing or Litigating?
“Singing or screaming?
“Praying or cursing?
”Loving or Blaming?”
The author and guru of Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote her way, “At home with lots of flowers, a large window and grandchildren playing by the bed.”

If you’re not appreciating this moment, what are you doing?

*101 Cool Ways to Die by Douglas Gillies